December 2023 – One Addicts Experience

Unity and Autonomy

Autonomy is the right to govern oneself and one’s actions. I spent a lot of time in early recover learning about my behaviors and accepting the consequences of those behaviors. I learned to take responsibility for my life. I grew in my autonomy by accepting responsibility. The more responsibility I took on, the stronger my autonomy became. I also learned that being a part of a group improved the quality of my life. The character defects that I live with sometimes present themselves when I work with others. I have accepted that I have a lot of contempt for myself and others. The consequences of that defect are self-loathing and isolation. The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous helped me develop new tools to deal with life and The Twelve Traditions gave me the ability to work well with others. As I practiced the spiritual principles, my defects became less of an issue. Both my personal and my group’s autonomy are improved when I can put aside my ego. The knowledge of a Higher Power’s Will provides the guidance I need when considering my actions in personal and group decisions. Faith also becomes critical to my acceptance of life on life’s terms. I no longer need to try to control every outcome. I can make decisions that go against my will by allowing my Higher Power to guide me. My personal recovery depends on NA Unity. Our literature reminds me that dishonesty and self-deception prevent me from enjoying complete recovery and acceptance in society. Honesty, open mindedness, and willingness are the foundations of my recovery today.

Autonomy

The word ‘Autonomy’ is mentioned five times in the Second Edition of the Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous. All five references are a part of the Fourth Tradition:

“Each Group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting other Groups, or N.A. as a whole.”
Narcotics Anonymous, Fourth Tradition

The first paragraph of the Fourth Tradition defines ‘Autonomy’ for the group as:

“The autonomy of our groups is necessary for our survival. A dictionary defines autonomous as “having the right or power of self-government…undertaken or carried on without outside control.” This means our groups are self-governing and are not subject to outside control. Every group has had to stand and grow on its own.”
Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Second Edition, Chapter Six, Fourth Tradition.

This paragraph has remained unchanged in many versions of the Basic Text. Tradition Two defines the “ultimate authority of a group is a loving God as he may express himself in our Group Conscience.” What other authorities exist?

Other Authorities

It has been difficult for me to accept other authorities in my life. The longer I am clean, the stronger my sense of entitlement to having an opinion. Complacency is a smug sense of satisfaction with oneself and the enemy of every addict with clean time. I have learned to rely on the God of my understanding. I am open to different viewpoints. I need to look at my relationships when I find myself alone in service.

Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Second Edition, Chapter Six, Second Tradition.

“Those of us who have been involved in service or in founding an NA group sometimes have a hard time letting go. Egos and unfounded pride and self-will would destroy a group if given authority. We must remember that offices have been placed in trust, that we are trusted servants and that at no time do any of us govern. Narcotics Anonymous is a God-given Program, and we can maintain our group in dignity only through our group conscience and God’s love.”
Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Second Edition, Chapter Six, Second Tradition.

‘At no time do any of us govern’ is a good reminder for those of us with strong opinions and big personalities. I know I need to keep my mouth shut more often than I do.

Services

Services are mentioned in the Fourth Tradition. Services are “the result of members who care enough to offer help and experience so that our road may be easier.” Members outside the Group might offer help and their experience to guide the decisions of the Group, but that does not mean that they govern. The Fourth Tradition tells us that Leaders are trusted servants and do not govern. Services have no authority over the actions of the Group.

Members

Each Home Group member can be guided by their personal commitment to Step Three. A member may decide that the actions of the Group go against their personal beliefs or the will of their Higher Power. The reasons for leaving a Group are as varied as the addicts who attend. I have struggled with the decisions of every Home Group I have participated in. I am free to come and go from any group. My participation in NA does not require that I agree with every decision a group makes, or with popular opinion. Tradition Three offers that I only need to have a desire to stop using. Sometimes I find myself using my clean time, my experiences or my opinions to separate myself from other members of Narcotics Anonymous. I always have the choice to be a “part of”. I understand that my personal recovery depends on NA unity, regardless of popular opinion and how I feel about those opinions. Ultimately the group decisions come back to the Group Conscience.

Exceptions to Group Autonomy

Tradition Four does mention exceptions. Groups are free to do as they like except as it affects ‘other groups or NA as a whole’. I have not found any exceptions to the authority of a Higher Power in my life. I have found myself faced with conflicting choices. I made decisions and accepted the consequences. I regret some choices when I later reflect on them. Did I choose poorly or did my Higher Power have a lesson for me to learn? God’s Will is not always clear even after the decision is made. The same could be said for a Group.

Some groups choose to sign verification papers for court ordered attendance. Other groups see this as a clear violation of several traditions. Who decides which groups are right and which are wrong?

Bob Stone was an early executive director of the World Service Office and an early organizer of the World Service Conferences for Narcotics Anonymous. Bob did not identify as an addict. He wrote a book entitled ‘My Years in NA.’ In this book he detailed that several groups maintained urine screening policies for speakers and members in the 1970’s.

“It would seem that we, in our groups, can do whatever we decide regardless of what anyone says. This is partly true. Each group does have complete freedom, except when their actions affect other groups or N.A. as a whole. Like group conscience, autonomy can be a two-edged sword. Group autonomy has been used to justify the violation of the Traditions. If a contradiction exists, we have slipped away from our principles. If we check to make sure that our actions are clearly within the bounds of our Traditions; If we do not dictate to other groups, or force anything upon them; and if we consider the consequences of our action ahead of time, then all will be well.”
Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Second Edition, Chapter Six, Fourth Tradition, Last Paragraph.

All will be well is a good indication of where Narcotics Anonymous is today. Contradiction does exist but individual Groups are thriving on a global scale. Both Unity and Autonomy can exist in Narcotics Anonymous. Look at some of the organizations that fall under the category of services.

The NAWS Corporation

The NAWS Corporation claims to control the Intellectual Property Rights for all Groups, despite limited endorsement by the Groups themselves. Very few Groups participate in the World Service Conference. WSC Motions on policy presented by the NAWS corporation see little support from Groups. Sales of Corporate-produced literature remain stagnant after thirty years. Supporters of the NAWS Corporation have been trying to promote the false claim of a ‘Collective Group Conscience.’ Some service bodies that support the NAWS Corporation provide free access to copywrite literature in violation of Corporate policies.

BMLT

The BMLT (Basic Meeting List Toolbox) is an independent organization of members who generously volunteer their time and efforts to produce accurate meeting lists for websites and hardcopy PDF files. They are very responsive to the groups they serve and are a shining example of what is possible. Support by Groups for the BMLT could be as high as one third of the known Groups and surpass said support for by the NAWS Corporation.

Virtual-NA.org

Virtual-NA.org saved the lives of hundreds of thousands of addicts during the recent Global Pandemic. This online resource provided dependable, 24-hour access to thousands of NA meetings weekly, despite a lack of recognition by most service bodies and the NAWS Corporation. Virtual-NA has grown to over three thousand Groups and there is little indication of a decline with the Pandemic coming to an end.

Anonymous Free Press

Anonymous Free Press is a member-driven initiative to produce an electronic magazine. They operate independently of any service structures, utilizing the NA name without the approval of the NAWS Corporation, but with full support of a growing list of members. Membership has surged to over five hundred after only three editions.

All Else is not NA

The Narcotics Anonymous known globally was started in 1953. In 1972 the World Service Office was formed and a 1976 World Service Conference was organized. The World Service Office was started to distribute literature. The World Service Conferences were organized to try and provide some structure to the growing Fellowships scattered around the United State, Canada and abroad. The World Service Office would eventually become Narcotics Anonymous World Services Inc. (NAWS Inc. for short) that took control of literature production and rights in the 1990’s.

By the early 1980’s, Narcotics Anonymous was starting to become a recognized solution for people who suffered from the disease of addiction. There were over one thousand Home Groups worldwide predominately in the United States but spreading to other parts of the world. A man known to many as ‘Bo S.’ rose to prominence within the Fellowship and with the support of the World Service Conference, became the World Literature Chair. Bo worked tirelessly and with great personal sacrifice to help the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous distill the combined knowledge of the time into what is known as the “Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text”. The effect was dramatic; nothing would ever be the same again in Narcotics Anonymous. By the end of the 1980’s Narcotics Anonymous had grown to over ten thousand Home Groups, and there were many different versions of the Basic Text in circulation. Several of the original paragraphs that were reviewed and approved by the groups for printing became contentious with some of the founding members.

One might ask: Is this really true, are we truly autonomous, what about our service committees, our offices, our activities, our hotlines, and all the other things that go on in N.A.? The answer, of course, is that these things are not N.A. They are services that we can utilize to help us in our recovery and to further the primary purpose of our groups. Narcotics Anonymous is a Fellowship of men and women, addicts, meeting together in groups, and using a given set of spiritual principles to find freedom from addiction and a new way .to live. All else is not N.A. Those other things we mentioned are the result of members caring enough to reach out and offer their help and experience so that our road may be easier. Whether or not we choose to utilize these services for the benefit of a group is up to us, they are not thrust down our throats.
Basic Text, Tradition Four – Approval Draft, distributed 1981

A Rift forms and Members are Forced to Choose Sides.

This caused bitter infighting. Members were pitted against other members. In March of 1983, the chair of the World Service Board issued a response.

…fact that the book as approved by the 1982 World Service Conference contain the following inaccuracies: In tradition four the book states that SERVICE COMMITTEES ARE NOT NA and later in the same paragraph states “All ELSE IS NOT NA” clearly indicating that they are not a part of Narcotics Anonymous. The book further states “whether to utilize these services is up to the group”. This would allow any group to do whatever the group chose to do and continue to call themselves an NA Group, leaving the fellowship no recourse but to allow them to do so. Any group could use any literature they choose to use in meetings. The use of literature other than NA literature in meetings has been a problem in the past. This is but one of many problems that could surface in the future should the book be printed as approved.
Sally Evans, chair of the World Service Board – Link to the entire letter

World Literature Committee revoked publishing rights.

The World literature Committee were shocked at the unauthorized changes and revoked the rights of the World Service Office to print the Basic Text. What happened after is open to speculation and conjecture. There are a lot of opinions on what transpired over the next several years. Many experienced members simply walked away and returned to the roots of their recovery by supporting groups and local service efforts. Manipulation and control seem to always defeat kindness and generosity. This is evident in the fact that under NAWS Inc, The North American Groups have seen zero growth in over 30 years beyond the ever-increasing price of the literature. Members today are confused by the trusted servants who manipulate the truth and exert control. The significant international growth of the fellowship has come about because of the kindness and generosity of thousands of members like Bo S and not a result of service committees.

Collective will of the many and the few

The question that never seems to get asked is why the groups approved the literature with the phrase “all else is not N.A.” This was no random mistake or inaccuracies in transcription. Thousands of addicts wrote, reviewed and approved the original literature. A small group of individuals modified the literature. Perhaps one answer is to go back further to the Little White Book.

“This is a simple spiritual -not religious-program, known as Narcotics Anonymous.”
Narcotics Anonymous, Little White Book, “We Do Recover”, originally published 1966. See here on The Narcotics Anonymous Upper Cumberland Area website, History section.

a Google search offered this interesting explanation of religion.

“Religion is a set of texts, practices and beliefs about the transcendent shared by a community and involves a relationship with God. Spirituality on the other hand is about a person’s relationship with the transcendent questions that confront one as a human being. This may or may not involve relationships with God.” [Transcendent – beyond or above the range of normal or merely physical human experience.]

Tradition One

Tradition One tells us that “Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on N.A. unity.” I have always believed the Fellowship’s welfare is ahead of my personal welfare; personal recovery involves sacrifices. Those sacrifices I make are not about loss or suffering but about generosity and kindness. These are some of the spiritual principles I practice in all my affairs. If self-obsession is the core of the disease of addiction, then it would make sense that I adopt spiritual principles that oppose that behavior. My desire is to stop using not just drugs but anything that can be addictive including money, manipulation and control. The relationship I maintain with a power greater than myself is my source of strength. No service body can define what sacrifices I choose to make at any moment. The responsibility for my recovery lies within myself. The choices I make do not exclude me from membership. The sacrifices I make can become the help I offer. “We meet regularly to help each other stay clean”. NA is not a self-help program but a help others program. Narcotics Anonymous is a Fellowship and not a religion. I would say that my Fellowship is my Home Group and beyond that are other groups who may or may not choose to work in unity, but our common goal is to support members and attract newcomers and all else is not NA.

Looking at the Sixth Step

I was reading the Sixth Step in our Basic Text for days, continuously. Going through this round of steps I’ve been working steps through the Basic Text with a new sponsor instead of working out of the Step Working Guides. I’m a very notorious overcomplicator and overachiever, but have found myself trying to simplify my program, lately, and through that developing an even closer relationship with our literature. This has led me to take a closer look at a few of the sentences in the Sixth Step.

“Willingness is what we strive for in Step Six.”
Basic Text, Sixth Edition

Of course, the most basic willingness form of willingness we need in the Sixth Step is the willingness to have our defects of character removed. The Sixth Step talks about “when we accept them”, acceptance being the first step on the road to surrender. Surrendering these defects to God, humbly, is what we go on to do in the Seventh Step, but we should be willing. To come to this place of willingness to surrender, we must come to a place of total awareness of these defects, and the effects they’re having on our lives. To me that’s a willingness that’s always enhanced by the writing process.

There’s also the willingness to be honest. We can use the tools of honest self-assessment found in the Fourth and Fifth Step, accessing this willingness to share and be vulnerable with another human being and God that we’ve already practiced. This willingness becomes one with our Third Step decision. The God-centeredness we strive for goes hand in hand with another line found in the Sixth Step: “Step Six helps us move in a spiritual direction.” But it’s important to take into context the paragraph it’s placed in; it’s still all about being human.

“When we are working Step Six, it is important to remember that we are human and should not place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Step Six helps us move in a spiritual direction. Being human we will wander off course.”
Basic Text, Sixth Edition

As I’m living my Sixth Step, I find my compulsiveness, my constant fearful hurry, to be one of my biggest stumbling blocks. I’ve had a friend tell me that they know they’re in their will when something needs to happen my way and right now. But God never hurries, really. Not the same way we do as humans. And that’s important to remember when we’re looking at the concept of sanity in recovery.

“Selfishness becomes an intolerable, destructive chain that ties us to our bad habits.”
Basic Text, Sixth Edition

This sentence truly stood out to me in a different way the more I read the Sixth Step. The core of our disease is self-obsession. Our focus on our needs, our wants, our musts, our expectations, our will, is what often makes us act out on these character defects; it ties us to them.

“We find ourselves growing into mature consciousness.”
Basic Text, Sixth Edition

What does mature consciousness entail? The quote that came to me as I reflected on it was a sentence from the chapter ‘More Will Be Revealed’: “By shaping our thoughts with spiritual ideals, we are freed to become who we want to be.” God helps shape us, recovery shapes us, and the image of who we want to be shapes us. Maturity is an ability to recognize who we want to be, and how to act accordingly; something we learn to strive for in part through our Sixth Step.

But that leaves us with one big question. Why do we need God to remove them?

Because whenever we ourselves try to be rid of our character defects we layer them. I act self-righteously, so I feel ashamed and start people-pleasing to fix it. I feel scared, so I try to control the situation to make myself feel comfortable. We need divine intervention and a path to follow. To some this is applying spiritual principles but for me, a lot of times, it’s about my internal attitude. I can apply tolerance through my actions, but the intolerance I feel is a very internal stirring, and not something I can directly influence. My understanding of God is my own, but I find myself needing this God’s help for me to truly be changed.

This is also why the Basic Text warns us about something I’ve experienced firsthand: “We may fear that God won’t see fit to relieve us or that something will go wrong.” When we feel this way, as I have before, we’re still in our control and our will. The willingness we strive for is also a willingness to let go of results, to let go of absolutely everything else and to just be willing. Willing to let go, to live a new way of life. I can’t control where God wants to take me, no matter how hard I try. I can only put in the work. So, I do. And so, we do.