Tag: Treatment

Attraction and Promotion

I remember when I was young, and I would party a lot. We would laugh about how intoxicated we got and how intoxicated we were going to get next time. Getting ‘messed up’, ‘baked’ or a dozen other euphemisms was what I thought was an attractive lifestyle. I had friends who dropped acid and called it ‘cutting tracks’ because it apparently scarred your brain and we thought that was cool.  I was too scared to try acid but I tried other things. Some people would talk about what a magical experience hard drugs were and try and convince me to try everything. Things changed when I decided to get clean and joined Narcotics Anonymous. I still think about what activities or lifestyles I consider attractive, and some people still promote their ideas about what they think is attractive.  Narcotics Anonymous Tradition Eleven says that ‘Our public relations policy is attraction rather than promotion, we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and film’. There are a couple things to consider when looking at the first part of this Tradition.  My public relations policy might not be the same as Narcotics Anonymous. I might be fine with promoting something that NA would not. I like wearing blue jeans, and I love gardening. You might find that an excellent experience too and seeing me in my jeans, working in the garden might be attractive. I could try and convince you that both are excellent choices by promoting them. Narcotics Anonymous would probably not have an opinion on either blue jeans or gardening but I can’t speak for what Narcotics Anonymous would say about either. As a member, when I do speak for NA, it would be as a servant, and my personal opinions should not influence what message I carry on behalf of NA and that can be difficult sometimes.  

The greater the base, as we grow in unity in numbers and in Fellowship, the broader the sides and the higher the point of freedom. Probably the last to be lost to freedom will be the stigma of being an addict. Goodwill is best exemplified in service and proper service is “Doing the right thing for the right reason.” When this supports and motivates both the individual and the Fellowship, we are fully whole and wholly free.

Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, 2nd Edition, ‘Our Symbol’, page vii

Stacey Ruth, CPC wrote an excellent article about ‘Attraction vs Promotion’. Her article references a common misconception in 12 step programs about Tradition Eleven. I liked this quote from her article and found it really sorted out the difference between attraction and promotion.

Attraction leaves the opportunity for action in the hands of the audience, while promotion leads them into submission.

Stacey Ruth, CPC, Linkedin “The Big Lie About Marketing: Attraction vs. Promotion”

Fellowships, Cliques, and Passersby.

Attraction and promotion covers a wide range on the part of both the audience and the presenters. At one point I thought I was part of one of the many cliques that form in local recovery circles. I believe that cliques are formed to protect members from accountability for their actions.  United we stand and divided we fall. Cliques can ignore the traditions, or manipulate them to suit the needs of the clique. We would all sit together at meetings, and a privileged few would be invited to events. Phone calls from clique members were a sought-after reward for good behavior and formed part of the hierarchy. Being part of a clique can be precarious and the politics are well beyond my grasp to understand. I never function well in cliques even before I got clean and have given up on learning the etiquette of cliques. Cliques are dangerous because they detract from unity by promoting oppression. One danger is that the activities or events can truly be attractive, but promote disunity by oppressing other ideas.

I have found within myself repeatedly, a strong desire to promote my own ideas. I want to talk about who my sponsor is, how many sponsees I have, or my clean time. I will seek like-minded people who can appreciate me and help promote my ideas about what I think is attractive.  I am not the only one. People with clean time congregate with other people who have clean time.  Wildly crazy thoughts seem to make so much sense in the moment and even more sense when you have the support of a clique. Stupid loves company.

I have experienced how complacency is the enemy of members with clean time. It is very easy to develop uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements. I hear addicts sharing about their lavish lifestyles and new connections with other cliques. Looking good and feeling good become a mantra. Members talk about The Grace of God’, and how they are miracles in a meeting, but spend the rest of the day completely self-consumed with activities that enhance their own experiences.  Hubris is a lack of gratitude. In the cliques, we used gaslighting to oppress others. Simply present a viewpoint as truth, and act like the victim is crazy when they question it. People say “I don’t know why you don’t want to be apart of”, assuming what they are doing is particularly attractive. I keep my world small and my Fellowship small today. I’m interested in delivering meeting lists and working on websites for NA. I love Public Information.

I avoid members who promote treatment centres in meetings. Some members are confused about what recovery means in NA by trying to blend the two worlds. Other members are only interested in lifestyle but not work. Even after decades clean, member will continue to act like a passersby, doing the minimal effort to maintain what they see as their status in NA. A small percentage are invested in having a good time at retreats, conventions and holidays with members of the cliques that have appointed themselves the governing body of NA. All these behaviors are very much like using and require promotion.

Help Others, not Self Help

“Meet regularly to help each other” (Basic text, 2nd Edition, ‘What is the Narcotics Anonymous Program’, Pg 7), has become the Program of Narcotics Anonymous for me. I believe the purist form of recovery is only found in a home group. I learned recovery skills by attraction, not promotion. The difficulty today is understanding the other person’s perspective and I can only do that by connecting with home group members in service, working with newcomers and continuing to attend meetings regularly. I love my life today and have found myself “enjoying complete recovery and acceptance within society.” (Basic text, 2nd Edition, ‘Recovery and Relapse’, Pg 71) I am not the judge of what is attractive to others, but my life is amazing and by enjoying my recovery and being a part of society, I have a greater impact on the future of Narcotics Anonymous.

A cured addict?

As a recovering addict who’s moved to a country where going to treatment is free, there seems to be more of a desire to live drug free lives free of an NA program than I’ve seen in other groups before. It appears to me that there’s an active culture of coming to meetings but never actually working a program, and moreover, many people stop going to Narcotics Anonymous or working a program once they start feeling good. Although it’s something that happens worldwide, I’ve personally never seen it affect the culture of meetings to this extent before.

I’ve struggled understanding the phenomena of stopping when it’s working. To gain understanding I’ve previously looked at it as a part of the self-destructive nature of our disease; “Any form of success was frightening and unfamiliar”, as cited from chapter three of our Basic Text. But I was just recently discussing this with another addict who gave me a new perspective on what I’d previously seen as just a self-defeating aspect of the nature of our disease. This addict suggested to me that it actually seems to be more of a reservation; the desire to live a ‘normal’ life. This ‘normal life’ free of needing what arrests our disease would let us go to work, study, have healthy relationships, a family, the car, without needing to put in work for it. In this reservation-shaped fantasy we wouldn’t need to surrender daily, to work on our recovery daily, but the good feelings would just naturally sustain themselves without effort. Although all reservations are self-defeating, this does look more like a reservation than just a manifestation of our self-defeating character. If we aren’t fully willing to accept what we need for our disease to be arrested, we’re not fully willing to accept our disease. We’re looking at the symptom of our disease – using drugs – as the problem, not us.

Treatment centers and the ‘cured’ addict

Now, knowing myself, to be fully honest about my defects of character; I’m resistant to treatment centers, and have my own preconceived notions and judgments. It’s hard for an addict not to. I’m sure it works for people and I’m really happy it does, it’s just not a part of my experience in recovery. Largely because it isn’t, I struggle with the idea of addicts coming to the Fellowship getting confused about institutions being necessary or even the way to get clean and find a new way of life, or getting confused about NA and institutions somehow being affiliated with each other, as our 6th tradition couldn’t speak against any stronger.

In my experience, reflecting on the addicts who stop coming to NA when they start feeling good, the ones I’ve seen go through this process are addicts who’ve gone to treatment centers. I do want to say I don’t believe this reservation only comes up for addicts who’ve gone to treatment, I’m solely basing this on my experience. But it does beg the question… Does the setup of treatment centers suggest addicts can be cured?

I don’t know what addicts are taught in treatment centers outside of what’s been told to me by some, but the natural setup of a closed institution where you spend a set amount of time sets you up to believe that your problems can be solved during your stay. I believe the natural setup of this brings about an attitude and belief around the symptom of our disease, using drugs, being our actual disease and actual problem. If addicts aren’t taught what the disease actually is, it also makes reservations about what being an addict actually entails more natural to lapse into. I do know that a lot of treatment centers make addicts refer to themselves not as addicts but in terms of the liquid drug or the narcotics, putting a lot of focus on the symptom instead of the real problem. The spiritual nature of our disease also seems to get lost in treatment center conversations. And if we don’t treat a spiritual disease on a spiritual level, the solution isn’t really the full solution, and surrender becomes more of a conditional, place-based act than an unconditional attitude.

An aspect of our spiritual condition as we’re taught in the program is also keeping what we have by giving it away. For those only acquainted with treatment, the spiritual practice of this principle isn’t integrated into any kind of daily program. Many stay in our Fellowship partially to give back what they’ve received; and if you don’t perceive you got what you needed from NA, you won’t see a need to give it back. The spiritual rewards of giving back will also remain foreign to those who are unable or unwilling to open their minds to a spiritual solution, which further causes one to believe that the solution is just to stop using, not changing our actions, attitudes and lives on a deeper level.

The solution?

We don’t want addicts leaving when they feel good. We offer a proven way to live a new way of life, and there’s no set amount of time on living. Addiction can never be cured because it’s not about the use of drugs, but it can be arrested on a daily basis if we have the willingness to live the program.

I don’t believe there’s a clear-cut solution to this problem. We can’t force an addict to recover and to stay in NA, as our experience and the program tells us. What we can do is make our message clear in meetings, and make sure to pay attention to the newcomer and make ourselves available; we can show them what it’s all about. We should love and cherish every addict as a spiritual extension of ourselves and look at carrying a clear Narcotics Anonymous message as an act of love. We don’t want to lose anyone to outside ideas or their own reservations. Our own experience of the program, shared, is effective. I’ve also found meetings focused on the 6th tradition to be effective in these scenarios.  

If we let our message become lost in the whirlwind of treatment center arrivals, we’re doing everyone a disservice. I don’t believe we’ll ever see the day a fully cured addict knocks on our door, but we can make sure to keep our program clear and available for those who are willing to join us. If we reach out our hands, God will do the rest; whatever that looks like.

The Inventory

Step Four, A Fearless and Moral Inventory.

A valuable tool for addicts who choose to participate in Narcotics Anonymous is the personal inventory. I found out It is also one of the most destructive tools in recovery when used incorrectly. Many addicts attend meetings regularly, find a sponsor and work through the steps. Some members use a process of questions and discussions to complete the steps that have been passed on for decades from sponsor to sponsee. The NAWS Corporation has produced a step working guide that is for sale at many meetings and is popular with new members of the Fellowship.  I wanted to share my experiences with a Step Four inventory.  I have completed three inventories and two sets of steps since I came to the Fellowship in 2002.

Treatment and Rehab

A lot of members start the steps in treatment centers. Treatment centers are not part of Narcotics Anonymous and have adapted parts of the Twelve Step program to suit their needs. Most use a system called the ‘Minnesota Model’ based on professionals interpreting the twelve step process. I often hear from members that NA is aftercare while in treatment and if they keep attending. I needed an understanding of the spiritual principles learned in the Steps to work with others in a home group focused on the Twelve Traditions. The greatest benefit to me personally is the application of the Twelve Traditions in my group. Some treatment center clients will abandon the Twelve Step process after they have completed Step Five, where they share the personal inventory with another individual.  The inventory is not a scalpel where you dissect yourself for improvement.  The rooms of Narcotics Anonymous are full of treatment center victims. This endless cycle of abuse continues when they relapse and go back to treatment, then start another set of Steps. Some look at recovery in Narcotics Anonymous as a self-help program. Self-obsession is the core of the disease, and Step Four should treat the disease, not add to it. Members can be court ordered to attend meetings and have no interest in participating fully. Some will take advantage of all the government sponsored programs developed to help them recover. Those who work in the treatment industry, policy makers, the courts and law enforcement experience the worst results of what they see as the Narcotics Anonymous program. The greatest benefit for professionals to fully understand and experience what recovery in Narcotics Anonymous looks like is in our unity, not our personalities.

What I found in the Steps

I never believed the steps were intended to make me a better person but simply to gain understanding of who I am. The simple act of living a drug free lifestyle will improve many addicts’ lives. In Narcotics Anonymous we can find new ways of using that do not involve drugs.  The Tenth Step is an inventory of our commitment to Narcotics Anonymous. Some of my most destructive traits took years to unlock and expose to the light.

By the same token we have observed some members who remain abstinent for long periods of time whose dishonesty and self-deceit still prevent them from enjoying complete recovery and acceptance within society.

Narcotics Anonymous, IP No. 6 “Recovery and Relapse”, The White Book, and Any version of the Basic Text

How can my dishonesty and self-deception manifest itself in daily living?  This can be difficult to diagnose alone. I have always found it important to have a sponsor and a group I attend regularly. I was taught to find a home group and participate fully in the efforts of the group. I have always sought a few members I felt I could trust. What part does Narcotics Anonymous play in the process?

N.A. is a non-profit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. We are recovered addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. This is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs.

[Basic Text, Grey Book, Chapter two, “What is N.A.”]

Recovering and Recovered

I believe that we were ‘recovered’ addicts when we help others, and ‘recovering’ when we tell others what we want to do about our problems and how they can help. We forge bonds of unity by working together. I use this simple idea of recovering and recovered. It is how I keep myself from using drugs, defects, and shortcomings to support my addiction. Narcotics Anonymous is a safe place regardless of clean time or intentions beyond a simple desire to stop using. Some members struggle with active addiction for a while or taper off from drug replacement therapies like suboxone or methadone. Members can remain abstinent but struggle with defects or are simply self-seekers who have lost the desire to stop using. I was taught that the program begins as I work the steps completely abstinent. My experiences in completing the steps mimic what the basic text says.

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

[Narcotics Anonymous, Step 12]

From my observations, practicing these principles in all our affairs is a struggle. In some cases, principles are completely abandoned. Today I feel clear in my mind and surrounded by love. I try to stay connected but maintain healthy boundaries with a vibrant Fellowship.

Those in Service to Narcotics Anonymous

Bob Stone was the first executive director of the World Service Office for Narcotics Anonymous. He was not an addict. The World Service Office would morph into the NAWS corporation. He remarked in his book (“My Years With Narcotics Anonymous”, Originally published and copyrighted in 1997 by Hulon Pendleton Publishing L.L.C.) at how petty members with significant clean time were, but his experience was with a small segment of the Fellowship. Those members were trying to govern a rapidly growing fellowship in the 1980s and early 1990s. Narcotics Anonymous is a spiritual movement and grows organically every day in many parts of the world without the need to be managed.  I believe members acted dishonestly or allowed self-deception to influence changes in our fellowship that had a far-reaching impact.  Growth halted quickly in North America. The solution for them was to make service structures and events part of NA. Events are a growing part of funding those in power and can provide a soapbox for the worst examples of our disease.  The groups had already approved the original literature which referred to anything outside a group as not a part of NA and emphasized the importance of no governance. 

A Small World Emerges

With the literature changes, members who have never fully recovered can built entire lives inside the fellowship by filling their time with events and service work. Today members use terms like event-based recovery or service-based recovery in a derogatory fashion to describe these behaviors. At work or in your personal life you might never experience the prestige of being a Convention Speaker, Distinguished Service Member and/or authority on all things pertaining to Narcotics Anonymous.   

Rather than inventory themselves or their service efforts, members use the inventory process as a weapon to drive away others.  Service bodies should be fully accountable to and supported financially by the groups. Some service structures do function remarkably well. I feel like it is related to the strength of the unity of those groups who participate fully without the need to inventory each other. Look and see for yourself the effectiveness of service structures when they are accountable to the groups.  Social media and virtual NA has opened the window to healthy fellowships around the world. I love the strength of my program today and the people who participate daily in my life.

Our strength is Our Diversity

All members should be freely participate in NA as equals regardless of their place in the journey to complete recovery. The personal inventory I took laid the foundation for the rest of the work I did in completing the steps and applying the traditions. The daily practice of applying spiritual principles in all my affairs continues. When I struggle with this practice, I ask for help from other members in the group I’m a member of or people in my circle. New people and a growing fellowship strengthen my recovery and offer me more freedom with each passing day. The diversity of the group gives me the opportunity to apply the traditions in my life and further strengthens my practice of applying spiritual principles.  Groups grow and new groups form. The stigma of being an addict is no longer a barrier. I can fully contribute to society and participate in all the world has to offer. The greatest freedom is from self-obsession as I remain vigilant in carrying a message to the still suffering addict. For me, the greatest gift has been informing the public about Narcotics Anonymous by distributing meeting lists and developing websites.