I was reading the Sixth Step in our Basic Text for days, continuously. Going through this round of steps I’ve been working steps through the Basic Text with a new sponsor instead of working out of the Step Working Guides. I’m a very notorious overcomplicator and overachiever, but have found myself trying to simplify my program, lately, and through that developing an even closer relationship with our literature. This has led me to take a closer look at a few of the sentences in the Sixth Step.
“Willingness is what we strive for in Step Six.”
Basic Text, Sixth Edition
Of course, the most basic willingness form of willingness we need in the Sixth Step is the willingness to have our defects of character removed. The Sixth Step talks about “when we accept them”, acceptance being the first step on the road to surrender. Surrendering these defects to God, humbly, is what we go on to do in the Seventh Step, but we should be willing. To come to this place of willingness to surrender, we must come to a place of total awareness of these defects, and the effects they’re having on our lives. To me that’s a willingness that’s always enhanced by the writing process.
There’s also the willingness to be honest. We can use the tools of honest self-assessment found in the Fourth and Fifth Step, accessing this willingness to share and be vulnerable with another human being and God that we’ve already practiced. This willingness becomes one with our Third Step decision. The God-centeredness we strive for goes hand in hand with another line found in the Sixth Step: “Step Six helps us move in a spiritual direction.” But it’s important to take into context the paragraph it’s placed in; it’s still all about being human.
“When we are working Step Six, it is important to remember that we are human and should not place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Step Six helps us move in a spiritual direction. Being human we will wander off course.”
Basic Text, Sixth Edition
As I’m living my Sixth Step, I find my compulsiveness, my constant fearful hurry, to be one of my biggest stumbling blocks. I’ve had a friend tell me that they know they’re in their will when something needs to happen my way and right now. But God never hurries, really. Not the same way we do as humans. And that’s important to remember when we’re looking at the concept of sanity in recovery.
“Selfishness becomes an intolerable, destructive chain that ties us to our bad habits.”
Basic Text, Sixth Edition
This sentence truly stood out to me in a different way the more I read the Sixth Step. The core of our disease is self-obsession. Our focus on our needs, our wants, our musts, our expectations, our will, is what often makes us act out on these character defects; it ties us to them.
“We find ourselves growing into mature consciousness.”
Basic Text, Sixth Edition
What does mature consciousness entail? The quote that came to me as I reflected on it was a sentence from the chapter ‘More Will Be Revealed’: “By shaping our thoughts with spiritual ideals, we are freed to become who we want to be.” God helps shape us, recovery shapes us, and the image of who we want to be shapes us. Maturity is an ability to recognize who we want to be, and how to act accordingly; something we learn to strive for in part through our Sixth Step.
But that leaves us with one big question. Why do we need God to remove them?
Because whenever we ourselves try to be rid of our character defects we layer them. I act self-righteously, so I feel ashamed and start people-pleasing to fix it. I feel scared, so I try to control the situation to make myself feel comfortable. We need divine intervention and a path to follow. To some this is applying spiritual principles but for me, a lot of times, it’s about my internal attitude. I can apply tolerance through my actions, but the intolerance I feel is a very internal stirring, and not something I can directly influence. My understanding of God is my own, but I find myself needing this God’s help for me to truly be changed.
This is also why the Basic Text warns us about something I’ve experienced firsthand: “We may fear that God won’t see fit to relieve us or that something will go wrong.” When we feel this way, as I have before, we’re still in our control and our will. The willingness we strive for is also a willingness to let go of results, to let go of absolutely everything else and to just be willing. Willing to let go, to live a new way of life. I can’t control where God wants to take me, no matter how hard I try. I can only put in the work. So, I do. And so, we do.