Cabals
When I first came to Narcotics Anonymous, I smoked tobacco cigarettes. I started when I was twelve years old. Using tobacco was more rebellion than a serious commitment at that age. Addiction developed progressively as I grew older and by eighteen, I was a full-time cigarette smoker. I tried to quit several times. I continued to smoke for about ten years after coming to NA. I loved the social aspects of smoking especially when I stood outside of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. I was so lonely, and socializing became a drug. Often my relapse from trying to quit smoking was at an NA meeting. There were a lot of members willing to help me relapse. Talking to members who continued to smoke was insightful. I have a better understanding today of my obsession and compulsion to use, and I am grateful I was able to quit smoking. A cabal is a group of individuals with a vested interest in promoting an idea. When I got clean it was very popular to stop for a smoke break at the halfway point in the meeting. Some members fought very hard to keep this practice alive. There was nothing spiritual about their desire from my perspective. Some meetings continue the practice today. What other groups do is none of my business. It is also not the business of my home group, or of NA, as a whole.
Our Way of Life
I was taught early in recovery is what unites us as a Fellowship is the desire to stop using. I try and keep an awareness of that desire by looking at my thoughts and behaviors daily. I am happy to be free of cigarettes and understand that not everyone makes that choice. Addition takes many forms. Early attempts at writing literature must have been full of conflicting viewpoints. I love to study the rich history of Narcotics Anonymous and the evolution of literature. Everyone has opinions about what is or is not recovery and what constitutes using. My understanding of Narcotics Anonymous is expressed in early literature.
Banded together in groups, or sometimes alone, we aim to help fellow users recover health. Not being reformers, we offer our experience only to those who want it. There are no fees – N.A. is a vocation. Each member squares his debt of gratitude by helping other addicts to recover. In so doing he maintains his own freedom from the habit.
Our Way of Life, An introduction to NA, Cleveland Narcotics Anonymous, 1963.
Reformers
Reformers want to make changes. I find it difficult to not form opinions about what works or does not work. Complacency is the enemy of members with clean time and I believe that the progression is natural. My opinions can be destructive to unity, but I may persist in expressing a viewpoint. I try to deny people the experiences that they may need. Shared opinions help to create a cult-like environment. I find that some members are willing to promote opinions about Narcotics Anonymous. One definition of a cult is when cabals promote imaginary rules about the treatment of a disease. Narcotics Anonymous is not a cult despite the efforts of some members. NA has no opinion about smoking tobacco, but it has clear ideas about using, dishonesty and self-deception.
We operate in an atmosphere of complete acceptance and respect for one another’s beliefs. We try to avoid the arrogance of self-righteousness, because it is one of the deadliest forms of self-deception. Even though we avoid pushing any ideas on anyone, we do suggest, strongly, that each person make an honest attempt to find a Power greater than themselves.
Grey Book, Memphis Tennessee Draft, dated February 15th, 1981. Chapter 4 – “Step 12”.
The Narcotics Anonymous literature says that there are self-seekers (people who put their own needs ahead of Fellowship). The literature says we meet regularly to help each other but the truth is that some only meet to help themselves. We also have members who remain abstinent but continue to act on old behaviors.
Yet there are others completely abstinent, whose dishonesties and self-deceits still prevent them from enjoying complete recovery and acceptance within society.
Grey Book, Memphis Tennessee Draft, Chapter 7 “Recovery and Relapse”, preamble.
Cabals seem to form from the self-seekers, dishonest and self-deception of members. I’m ok with having my own ideas about recovery but acting with other members to manipulate the truth is a whole different level of addiction.
The Home Group
Critical to my recovery is a commitment to a Home Group. I can pick my friends, but I try not to control who joins my home group. The diversity of a home group benefits my recovery. The unconditional love we offer each other is the foundation of any home group I have ever supported. The worst examples of recovery also have a place in my Home Group. I benefit from being inclusive and so does my group. Some days I am the worst example of recovery. Hearing a shared experience is what wakes me up to reality. Connecting with reality shows how I have been using behaviors or holding on to old ideas. Those awakenings can occur slowly as I continue to attend. I find that a newcomer will add a better perspective than someone who has been attending regularly. I can become blind to the disease and my perspective is altered by the company I keep. Newcomers refresh our Fellowship with new ideas.
The Traditions make sense
My experience is that sometimes I need to change home groups. This can be a win win situation when the dynamics become intolerable. My personality ahead of the principles of a group or cabal. I can take my opinions and experiences and move on to another group. A healthy group is not dictated by the demands of a single member or cabal. Narcotics Anonymous Tradition Two; “For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.” There are no rules and no governing bodies. Groups, like individuals, vary greatly. I do not recognize any version of Narcotics Anonymous beyond the Group level. The Traditions make sense to me when I only consider Groups as NA. I see a Fellowship that is structure free. Groups only benefit from trusted servants when the servants do not govern. Lending the NA name to conventions, service bodies and any enterprise promotes the self interest of the enterprise and as such, a cabal is created. A group trying a new idea can result in other groups benefiting from the experience. We ought not be organized as organizations require rules and can be corrupted by the cabals of NA.