‘Anonymity’ is often heard in NA. I hear a lot of opinion but not as much experience about anonymity. Some addicts jump on the ‘personal anonymity’ bandwagon and share their opinions. Others discuss their opinions on ‘anonymity at the level of press, radio and film’. I do not hear as much on ‘anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions’. For me, anonymity has two faces; what I experience and what the world sees.
Our Principles Ahead of My Personality
I love that our Basic Text has a chapter titled, “We Do Recover”. In the Basic Text, Chapter 7, Recovery and Relapse, it warns, ‘We have observed some members who remain abstinent for long periods of time whose dishonesty and self-deceit still prevent them from enjoying complete recovery and acceptance within society.’
I love to participate in recovery and talk with members. I stack chairs or co-host virtual meetings with a great deal of love for this new way of life. What I no longer do is hang out with people in recovery. I tried for a long time. I do not have good skills that make relationships easy. I have difficulties seeing the dishonesty and deceptions maintained by some members. I also need to be wary of these within myself. Addiction is not just about drugs and affects all aspects of my life. I believe that is true for all addicts. I avoid the toxic cliques and cult behaviors of some members. Some people use Fellowship like they used drugs. I am not here to use. I want to help others find what I have found.
Local service to NA is difficult where I live. I have tried to stay involved with delivering meeting lists locally for about ten years with no success. My personality will not allow some members to put principles first. Today, I practice principles with people outside of NA, as well. Narcotics Anonymous communities can become a repository for the dishonest and deceptive. Where else can addicts feel comfortable using? I remain vigilant because I see that I can be guilty of this.
My world has improved. Healthy practice of spiritual principles is not exclusive to NA. I am fortunate to enjoy a rich life of service away from the local fellowship. My teachers are now kind, compassionate and generous members of society. My anonymity means they treat me at face value without the judgement I sometimes experience in NA. Once people know me, I can talk about recovery. They often accept me as the person I am today, not what I was in the past.
The Spiritual Foundation of NA
Anonymity for Narcotics Anonymous is critical. NA is relatively unknown to most of society. Anonymity does not mean we remain unknown. Anonymity means that what people learn is not opinions but facts. We are a Fellowship who meet regularly to help each other. This is a ‘help others’ program, not a self-help program. This fact seems lost to some members.
Anyone can be a part of NA if they have a desire to stop using. Groups are autonomous and governed by the conscience of the members of that group. I believe if anyone shows up regularly, with a desire to stop using, and a willingness to be a part of, they will enjoy great success in this new way of life. This new way of life includes carrying the message to other suffering addicts.
I do a lot of research in my writing about NA and volunteering in addictions and mental health organizations. I estimate that about five percent of the population is in recovery. Where I live the population of addicts in recovery is about eighteen thousand based on a population of four hundred thousand. Most addicts struggle alone. Very few attend NA. They are simply unaware of what this simple program has to offer.
NA could be doing a much better job of carrying the message, in my opinion. I believe that it would benefit my recovery and my freedom to have a wider base, so I am passionate about Public Information. This was proven to me by the explosion of online NA during the COVID Pandemic. I have found tremendous support and compassion online. I have a higher level of freedom today, as a result.
Tradition Twelve in the Basic Text offers fifteen lines of text that are so important to our Fellowship. I love this phrase, ‘The spiritual foundation becomes more important than any one particular group or individual’.
My addict screams for attention. Every opportunity to be seen, heard or acknowledged feeds my disease. My experience is that by joining together with other addicts I stand the best chance of staying clean today. I balance my needs against the needs of a home group, by putting the needs of the group first. Anonymity ensures ‘We’ becomes more important than me.