A cured addict?

As a recovering addict who’s moved to a country where going to treatment is free, there seems to be more of a desire to live drug free lives free of an NA program than I’ve seen in other groups before. It appears to me that there’s an active culture of coming to meetings but never actually working a program, and moreover, many people stop going to Narcotics Anonymous or working a program once they start feeling good. Although it’s something that happens worldwide, I’ve personally never seen it affect the culture of meetings to this extent before.

I’ve struggled understanding the phenomena of stopping when it’s working. To gain understanding I’ve previously looked at it as a part of the self-destructive nature of our disease; “Any form of success was frightening and unfamiliar”, as cited from chapter three of our Basic Text. But I was just recently discussing this with another addict who gave me a new perspective on what I’d previously seen as just a self-defeating aspect of the nature of our disease. This addict suggested to me that it actually seems to be more of a reservation; the desire to live a ‘normal’ life. This ‘normal life’ free of needing what arrests our disease would let us go to work, study, have healthy relationships, a family, the car, without needing to put in work for it. In this reservation-shaped fantasy we wouldn’t need to surrender daily, to work on our recovery daily, but the good feelings would just naturally sustain themselves without effort. Although all reservations are self-defeating, this does look more like a reservation than just a manifestation of our self-defeating character. If we aren’t fully willing to accept what we need for our disease to be arrested, we’re not fully willing to accept our disease. We’re looking at the symptom of our disease – using drugs – as the problem, not us.

Treatment centers and the ‘cured’ addict

Now, knowing myself, to be fully honest about my defects of character; I’m resistant to treatment centers, and have my own preconceived notions and judgments. It’s hard for an addict not to. I’m sure it works for people and I’m really happy it does, it’s just not a part of my experience in recovery. Largely because it isn’t, I struggle with the idea of addicts coming to the Fellowship getting confused about institutions being necessary or even the way to get clean and find a new way of life, or getting confused about NA and institutions somehow being affiliated with each other, as our 6^th tradition couldn’t speak against any stronger.

In my experience, reflecting on the addicts who stop coming to NA when they start feeling good, the ones I’ve seen go through this process are addicts who’ve gone to treatment centers. I do want to say I don’t believe this reservation only comes up for addicts who’ve gone to treatment, I’m solely basing this on my experience. But it does beg the question… Does the setup of treatment centers suggest addicts can be cured?

I don’t know what addicts are taught in treatment centers outside of what’s been told to me by some, but the natural setup of a closed institution where you spend a set amount of time sets you up to believe that your problems can be solved during your stay. I believe the natural setup of this brings about an attitude and belief around the symptom of our disease, using drugs, being our actual disease and actual problem. If addicts aren’t taught what the disease actually is, it also makes reservations about what being an addict actually entails more natural to lapse into. I do know that a lot of treatment centers make addicts refer to themselves not as addicts but in terms of the liquid drug or the narcotics, putting a lot of focus on the symptom instead of the real problem. The spiritual nature of our disease also seems to get lost in treatment center conversations. And if we don’t treat a spiritual disease on a spiritual level, the solution isn’t really the full solution, and surrender becomes more of a conditional, place-based act than an unconditional attitude.

An aspect of our spiritual condition as we’re taught in the program is also keeping what we have by giving it away. For those only acquainted with treatment, the spiritual practice of this principle isn’t integrated into any kind of daily program. Many stay in our Fellowship partially to give back what they’ve received; and if you don’t perceive you got what you needed from NA, you won’t see a need to give it back. The spiritual rewards of giving back will also remain foreign to those who are unable or unwilling to open their minds to a spiritual solution, which further causes one to believe that the solution is just to stop using, not changing our actions, attitudes and lives on a deeper level.

The solution?

We don’t want addicts leaving when they feel good. We offer a proven way to live a new way of life, and there’s no set amount of time on living. Addiction can never be cured because it’s not about the use of drugs, but it can be arrested on a daily basis if we have the willingness to live the program.

I don’t believe there’s a clear-cut solution to this problem. We can’t force an addict to recover and to stay in NA, as our experience and the program tells us. What we can do is make our message clear in meetings, and make sure to pay attention to the newcomer and make ourselves available; we can show them what it’s all about. We should love and cherish every addict as a spiritual extension of ourselves and look at carrying a clear Narcotics Anonymous message as an act of love. We don’t want to lose anyone to outside ideas or their own reservations. Our own experience of the program, shared, is effective. I’ve also found meetings focused on the 6^th tradition to be effective in these scenarios.  

If we let our message become lost in the whirlwind of treatment center arrivals, we’re doing everyone a disservice. I don’t believe we’ll ever see the day a fully cured addict knocks on our door, but we can make sure to keep our program clear and available for those who are willing to join us. If we reach out our hands, God will do the rest; whatever that looks like.