Studying Narcotics Anonymous literature is a fundamental tool for any addict seeking a solution to their disease. NA has a long history of powerful literature, written and tested by addicts. ‘Our Symbol’ is one of the most beautiful pieces of literature that I have read. First published in ‘The NA Tree’ in 1975, it was written by a founding member of Narcotics Anonymous and included in the first section of the Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, published in 1981.
Wholly or Fully Recovered
My favorite quote from ‘Our Symbol’ is – “the outer circle denotes a universal and total program that has room within for all manifestations of the recovering and wholly recovered person”.
Narcotics Anonymous, ‘Our Symbol’, First published in the NA Tree, 1975, Line 4.
In the Basic Text is another phrase that speaks about recovery – “We can never fully recover, no matter how long we stay clean”.
Narcotics Anonymous, Basic Text, Second Edition, Chapter 7 ‘Recovery and Relapse’
I wondered at the difference between a “fully recovered addict” and a “wholly recovered addict”. Research shows that “wholly” is preferred when you want to emphasize the total and complete nature of something without reservations. “Wholly” offers a dedication to a particular idea or action more so than “fully”.
Last House on the Block
Narcotics Anonymous was the last house on the block for me. I felt uncomfortable in Alcoholics Anonymous, I could not afford treatment, and I did not see a path forward in the life that I was living. In N.A., I was willing to try anything, talk about everything and experience any feeling. I was desperate for a solution. My companions were other addicts who shared their experiences and offered their support. I believe the ‘gift of desperation’ equates to the “wholly recovered addict”. In contrast, “fully recovered” is an unreachable destination. Wholly recovered is a state of being. I was wholly committed to whatever was asked of me despite my fears.
Goodwill is best exemplified in service and proper service is “Doing the right thing for the right reason.” When this supports and motivates both the individual and the Fellowship, we are fully whole and wholly free.
‘Our Symbol’, 1975, last two lines.
Today, recovery has become a convenience store of products with a lot more choices available to suffering addicts. Narcotics Anonymous has become a commodity. I hear addicts sharing at NA meetings that they are ‘committed to trying a particular treatment center again’, ‘working the steps in therapy this time’, and ‘making sure they get to that wonderful AA meeting on Tuesday nights’. I am confused by experiences of others today. Parking lot discussions seem to be about distractions from life on life’s terms. There used to be discussions focused on NA, on our primary purpose. I want to talk about our primary purpose and the application of spiritual principles daily in all my affairs.
On the bright side, today many N.A. members have long terms of complete abstinence and are better able to help the newcomer. Their attitude, based in the spiritual values of our Steps and Traditions, is the dynamic force bringing increase and unity to our program. Now we know that the time has come when that tired old lie, “Once an addict always an addict,” will no longer be tolerated by either society or the addict himself. We do recover.
Narcotics Anonymous Little White Book, published in 1966
Desperation
The idea of “‘wholly recovered” was removed from our literature by the publishers. I no longer feel as welcome as I used to be. The desperation is gone, and I find myself attracted to the complacency of many addicts. Maybe I should relax and have fun, but instead I feel a sense of sadness. The last house on the block is torn down, replaced with a convenience store that has me thinking about living off-grid again. Therein lies the problem.
A desperate addict will do anything for Narcotics Anonymous because they are out of options. Therein lies the solution.
Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
Pink Floyd, ‘Wish You Were Here’ song