I started attending Narcotics Anonymous in 2002. I bought a Fifth Edition of the Basic Text. I bought a step-working guide (some call it ‘the flat book’) and found a sponsor. I have always had a home group since I was three months clean. I was involved in service for NA at many levels including regional and attended events. My whole life was work, family and NA. I tried to balance those things, and it was hard to achieve. I always wanted more. I hoped that Narcotics Anonymous would give me everything I wanted.
Complete Recovery
When I started studying the history of Narcotics Anonymous, I came to see terms like ‘recovering addict’, ‘recovered addict’ and ‘complete recovery.’ The Basic Text includes a chapter called ‘We Do Recover’ so I started to talk to other members about their experiences.
Yet there are others, completely abstinent, whose dishonesties and self-deceits still prevent them from enjoying complete recovery and acceptance within society.
Narcotics Anonymous, Basic Text, Second Edition (published 1982), Chapter 7, ‘Relapse and Recovery’
About ten years ago I discovered how sick addicts can be. Complete abstinence is not a measure of health. How people act speaks more about who they are than what they share. I have learned to watch people more and keep my distance. I learned that I lack the ability to participate in social situations in a healthy manner. That is fine with me. I surrender and accept that I have a role in the world today. I cannot define what complete recovery means for someone else, but I did learn what it means for me. My recovery includes service. This helps me overcome self-obsession. Service gives me purpose but even that can be impacted by my disease.
Tradition Four
Tradition Four of Narcotics Anonymous provides a great deal of information about the function and purpose of an NA Group.
Narcotics Anonymous is a Fellowship of men and women; addicts meeting in groups and using a given set of spiritual principles to find freedom from addiction and a new way to live. All else is not N.A. Those things we mentioned are the result of members caring enough to reach out and offer their help and experience so that our road might be easier. Whether we choose to utilize these services is up to the group…
A Narcotics Anonymous group is any meeting which meets regularly at a specified place and time for the purpose of recovery provided that it follows the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Narcotics Anonymous…
to provide a suitable and reliable environment for personal recovery and to promote such recovery.
Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, 2nd Edition, Chapter 6, Tradition 4
Using and Service
The process of recovery for me has been to ‘stop using, lose the desire to use, and learn a new way to live’. I work with other addicts in my home group regularly. My defects come out in familiar and sometimes new patterns. When I act on my defects, I feel like I am using. I try to remain vigilant. When I am trying to ‘be of service’, I find I am open to suggestions. Working with others becomes easier as I practice spiritual principles in all areas of my life. My home group grows, and the Fellowship strengthens as we all share the burden of service. I have seen newcomers, attending regularly finding they could stop using drugs, even if it is just for an hour. I believe that stop is an action, and the action can be thought of as service. Gratitude is an action, and an expression of my love for the life I live today.
Outside of Narcotics Anonymous
I decided to enjoy complete recovery and acceptance in society. I understand from literature that the barriers would be dishonesty and self-deception. I can accept those conditions. I will always maintain a relationship with Narcotics Anonymous. Helping home group members and working with newcomers brings joy to my life. I offer my time, my efforts and my experience to my home group. As I work with others in and out of NA, my experience grows. I do not know if I am a better version of myself today, but I can certainly contribute to society in a meaningful way.
Some believe that Narcotics Anonymous can evolve and have service structures. I am not convinced that is possible. Some see a lack of professionalism and a high level of disorganization as acceptable. I do not. I prefer the older literature and the principles it contains. I like to offer my help and experience to make the road easier. The lines are blurred between what is and what is not Narcotics Anonymous. My circle is wide today and many people do not know that recovery is possible or if Narcotics Anonymous is available. I remain committed to public information. I often find I work alone but I can promote my recovery in the rooms of NA. If someone finds my ideas attractive, then I can try to work together with another addict. ‘Me’ becomes ‘We’ and Fellowship grows.